no title

[CaLi_rEd]

razor blade....cuts the skin
door creaks open...dad steps in
gushing blood...it wont stop
you laugh a little...'get the mop'
this is funny...in your eyes
dad's hysterical...starts to cry
paramedics...take you away
leaning over you...dad starts to pray
'dad please dont cry....i'll be alright'
you see his face...its turned white
'dad whats that noise...please turn it off'
he cries harder...starts to cough
he starts to scream...'no please take me'
'dad whats wrong...im alright, dont you see'
'dad im real scared...where am i going'
'just a minute ago...my blood was flowing'
'dad arent you coming...cant you help'
'plz dad i promise...never to mutilate myself'

i wrote this during my depressed days a while back..let me know what you think!!!

[BOOP]

I think poetry about self-mutilation and a craving for death is insulting. Infact, I don't even remotely consider it poetry. It's a grouping of words, bitter ramblings, that have no purpose but to depress anyone who dares read it. However, you have a real talent, your rhyme and meter are very accurate, and I feel it is a shame that you are wasting that skill on such an unforgiving topic. It would be nice to see you post something with a more uplifting story behind it.

[Heart.Break.Kid]

Silly Boop. Poetry comments are never negative. Poems have there own personality. Yooh can write a poem about anything...Life, death, love, even COOKIES! Poems dont always have to be about how 'the leaves fall off a tree for winter is coming'.. Poems arent always happy bunnies and talking flowers. Poems have passion, life, and feeling. No poem is bad or insulting.

For me...I think it was good. It showed how she felt. And what she felt was pain. I think its unique and she is a great poetry writer. =]

[BOOP]

Silly Boop. Poetry comments are never negative. Poems have there own personality. Yooh can write a poem about anything...Life, death, love, even COOKIES! Poems dont always have to be about how 'the leaves fall off a tree for winter is coming'.. Poems arent always happy bunnies and talking flowers. Poems have passion, life, and feeling. No poem is bad or insulting.

For me...I think it was good. It showed how she felt. And what she felt was pain. I think its unique and she is a great poetry writer. =]

When someone asks for a persons opinion SPECIFICALLY, I give it without restraint. I said I didn't consider it poetry, and I don't. I never said that it wasn't poetry in the eyes of technicality. A poem can be constructed of anything, so before you start trying to "teach" a person something, why don't you pay attention to the things they already know. Poems can definitely be insulting, if a person reads a poem about a subject they find insulting, that particular text will be offensive to that person, and it is horribly naive of you to suggest that no text could ever provoke that kind of emotion. Like I said, the author asked for specific opinions, therefore I gave it. I said this author had alot of talent, and I truly believe that. It's just a shame it has been exposed in this manner. Kudos for sticking up for something you believe in, but don't lash out at me without having some legitimate information to base it on. I'm entitled to think and express my opinion, it is not a criminal offense to do so, therefore I am guilty of nothing.

[Heart.Break.Kid]

OKie Dokie then.
=/

[sakura_gurl15]

its a nice poem i love the images i see in them. but it should have a title.